Air Canada says a passenger found a sewing needle in a sandwich on a flight to Toronto. He must've been flying coach.

I received a text message from Best Buy telling me the happy news: “Your entry last month has WON!” Nice! But since I hadn’t entered any contests at Best Buy I resisted the urge to click on the link and claim my $1,000 gift card. Later that same week I heard my local news readers warn us all to "Beware the Gift Card Texting Scam, News at 11!" How did I know? Easy. The company that sweats giving me a $50 product price match would probably not be doling out a $1,000 gift card to one of its crankiest customers. (Click here to read more about my travails at Best Buy.) 

This week I've been posting quotes from my recent audiobook listen of Seth Grahame-Smith's Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. If you missed this week's daily quotes, enjoy them all here:

“Abe had been quite prepared to hate his step mother. It was inconvenient therefore that she was kind, encouraging, and endlessly sensitive.”

“A boy needs more than books to be a boy.”

“There are but two types of men who desire war: Those who haven’t the slightest intention of fighting it themselves and those who haven’t the slightest idea what it is.”

“Any man who has seen the face of death knows better than to seek him out a second time.”

“Some people are just too interesting to kill.” 

  

I'm performing 10 tonight 7/29 @ StandUp New York! 236 W. 78th Street, NYC, 212-595-0850
http://www.standupny.com/

Missed one of my words of the day this week? Catch up right here. 
Follow me on Twitter to catch them fresh every day!    

7/27: WOTD:  Sardanapalian \sahr-dn-uh-PEYL-yuhn\ adjective: Excessively luxurious. || Unadorned sandals; basic flip flops. #AltDef

7/26: WOTD: perdure: (puhr-DOOR, -DYOOR): verb intr.: To continue to exist; endure. || Free range chicken that comes from a good family. #AltDef

7/25: WOTD: exigent \EK-suh-junt\ adjective: requiring immediate aid or action || What a man does when a woman asks him to leave. #AltDef

7/24: WOTD: commemorate \kuh-MEM-uh-rayt\ verb: to call to remembrance. || Back when your savings account earned interest.

7/23: WOTD: mewl \myool\ verb  To cry, as a baby; whimper. || An unattractive shoe choice for thin-legged women. #AltDef

How often do you see a framed poster of Kurtis Blow? I daresay not often enough. It was the cherry on top of a fun show @ 92Y TriBeCa with The No Name Crew.